Monday, January 20, 2020

Expat Life: When Death Came to the Village

Death, as the saying goes, doesn't take a holiday. It's a statement that became painfully true this year as death came not once, but twice, to our village in the weeks surrounding the holidays.

Our village, Agios Nikolaos
Death first came calling a few weeks before Christmas. On that visit it took a member of the local British expat community; a lady who had fought a valiant fight against cancer for many years. Although her friends were somewhat prepared for her passing, their sadness was palpable when they lost her.

Coffee with Marti a favorite pastime, often shared with our visitors, like Mary

My friend Marti and I were enjoying one of our regular and favorite pastimes - having coffee and a visit at our local taverna - when we learned of the long-time English resident's passing. She'd been a much loved and vibrant member of the community. Neither of us knew her well but were taken with the impact she'd had in the small village and the numbers of people grieving her loss. We spoke of the special person she must have been and of how much the village mourned her passing.


Our cat Princess and Marti

When death returned a second time, it landed a sucker punch on the village. The new year was barely into its second day, when death claimed my friend, Marti.

There was no time to prepare for Marti's passing. She was ill and a few days later she was gone.

With Marti's passing we lost another beloved member of the expat community and village. She'd been another vibrant, caring, person who gave of her time and talents as freely as she did of her smile and love.

Agios Nikolaos

Again, the sense of loss was palpable. This time, though, we were experiencing it up close and personal. For days I found myself -- whether in a grocery store, taverna, restaurant or middle of the street -- being wrapped in the arms of Greek and expat friends as we unabashedly shed tears together over the loss of our friend.

Marti and Me toasting springtime in Greece
Many of you who hadn't met her in person have told me that you felt you knew her through my tales told here. Others 'knew' her from my Facebook posts about our adventures living as expats in a rural area of Greece's Peloponnese. Many of you were lucky enough to have met her on your visits to our area.

As way of background for those new to TravelnWrite, we are among a couple dozen American and a few hundred British and Northern European 'boomers' who have chosen to live in this small rural community in The Mani as expats. 


Expats From Kirkland, Washington to Agios Nikolaos

It was after Marti and her husband, Chuck, friends from the Pacific Northwest, paid us a visit in 2015 that they decided to try out expat life in Greece as well.  They quickly became involved and known in the village. They volunteered for tasks when needed, whether organizing fundraisers for homeless animals or doing beach cleanup. Her garden was the envy of all. She was our gardening expert - the 'go to person' when we had questions and problems. Her baking and desserts were favorites at fund-raising dinners.

The Village Responds

Since our respective moves to rural Greece, we four expats from Washington State have had good friends back home worrying about us being 'alone' in Greece. Frankly, before we moved to Greece, I had worried about the 'what ifs' of dealing with a serious health issue or death while we were there. And Marti and I spent many a coffee session discussing those same 'what if's'.

American expats socializing with our attorney/friend Voula last fall

But after our experiences in the last two weeks, I have been able to assure those back in the States that we are wrapped in a world of friends who are warm and caring. We are definitely not alone. My frets over the 'what if's' have been filed away.

From the moment news of Marti's passing traveled through our community the offers for help started arriving: whatever needed to be done, was simply done. Quickly and efficiently.

And now, some two weeks later, the caring continues. Expats and locals alike reaching out to offer tangible support like preparing food, to the intangibles like 'just being there'. And the concern and offers of support are not only directed to Chuck; friends are checking on friends to see how they are doing as well and offering support if needed.

Agios Nikolaos

Just a few weeks ago in a retrospective piece, I wrote that 'we felt we had become part of our village in the Greek Peloponnese and it a part of us'.

I thought at the time that I had a articulated well, the way we felt about Agios Nikolaos, our small fishing village surrounded by olive groves on the Messinian Bay.

As it turns out, at the time I wrote those words, I had no understanding of the depth of that relationship at all. But I certainly do now.

From Agios Nikolaos the Messinian Bay

Again, thanks for the time you have spent with us today as I tell you of our expat life. We will be back next week with more tales of travel and adventures.  Until then, safe travels to you and yours ~

Linking this week with:

Through My Lens
Our World Tuesday
Wordless Wednesday







25 comments:

  1. Sorry for your loss. If my almost 95 year old mother's experience is a guide, we are at an age when the tempo of losses accelerates. Those living in supportive communities like the one you have found in Greece, are fortunate.

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    1. It does seem the acceleration is beginning. . .but as long as we have supportive world's in which we live it isn't as bad somehow. I guess one might call it a shared sorrow.

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  2. Friends in a tight community is like a family and in Hawaii we call it Ohana. Hope that your Ohana remains tight and loving through this time frame.

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    1. Noel, we are back at KoOlina and enjoying being surrounded by our same time, next year ohana here. It is important to have these ohana surrounding us no matter where we are, isn't it?

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  3. Another beautiful and true expression of life in Greece.Thank you Jackie for this poignant essay. We are so happy to live in this community and share your experience of life in the Mani. Marti will be missed by so many of us.

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    1. And we are so happy to have you and Michael as part of our Mani ohana! xxxx

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  4. How lovely to live in such a supportive community.

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    1. It really is a blessing to be surrounded by the folks we have in our village!

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  5. Coming over from Facebook. I am loving your blog, your photos are so pretty and I love reading your stories!

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    1. Oh Heather, so glad you came over and took time to leave a comment! Hope you will be a regular here!

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  6. I'm so glad you have your expat family in the Mani. I wish I could be there to give hugs and offer support (but I'd probably be arrested....little humor). We miss Marti with you.

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    1. Oh Malia, Your comment was as good as a hug . . .and your little humor made me laugh. . .Marti was probably smiling at that one as well! xxx

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  7. It is good to know that small caring communities still exist in this fragile world in which we live.

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    1. They do and we are so blessed to be a part of one!! Thanks for taking time to comment; hope you'll be back again soon!

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  8. How blessed to be a part of a caring community! Love the photos.

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    1. Thanks! It really does sometimes 'take a village' and in these examples I wrote about the village came through loud and clear! Thanks for stopping by.

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  9. Death sucks! I'm sorry for the loss of your friends. I'm also glad for the support system that's in place on your little island. I'm glad Marti got to spend her last years with good friends and yep..family.

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    1. Kemkem, before I had a chance to answer this the news of Kobe Bryant's helicopter crash hit the internet and again we all found ourselves dealing with death. I realize it is a part of life, but it sure does land a sucker punch sometimes, doesn't it? xx J.

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  10. It is so sad to go through the death of a friend. She will live on in your memories of her.

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    1. Thanks. It was good being among friends who were feeling the same loss of a good friend. Some people do leave very big holes when they leave us, don't they?

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  11. So sorry for the loss of your friend. Hang on to the good memories you have and let the wonderful community you've found in Greece keep supporting you.

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    1. Thanks for the kind words, Cindy. We are lucky to live where we do!

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